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Things that make ya go hmmm?

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Cannabis Sacrament Minister
Cannabis Sacrament Minister

Joined: 12 Dec 2003
Posts: 2613

PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 12:14 pm    Post subject: Things that make ya go hmmm? Reply with quote

~A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.~

~I must always remember that I am unique, just like everyone else.~

~How come you never hear about gruntled employees?~

~How much deeper would the oceans be without sponges?~

~If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what is a foghorn made of?~

~If quitters never win, and winners never quit, why do they say, "Quit while you're ahead"?~

If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from?~

~I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.~

~What do they call a coffee break at the Lipton Tea Company?~

~What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?~

~When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?~

~Why is the word abbreviation so long?~

~Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.~

~If man evolved from monnkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?~

~I went to the bookstore and askes the saleswoman, "where's the self-helf section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.~

~Could it be those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?~

~If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?~

~If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?~

~If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?~

~Is there another word for synonym?~

~Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

~When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one ment to be removed?~

~Where do forest rangers go "to get away from it all?"~

~What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?~

~If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?~

~Would a fly without wings be called a walk?~

~Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?~

~If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?~

~Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?~

~Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?~

~How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?~

~Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?~

~Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?~

~Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?~

~I'm not schizophrenic. You only think we are.~

~How is it possible to have a civil war?~

~If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?~

~If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?~

~If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?~

~If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it #2?~

~If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?~

~If you try to fail, but instead succeed, which have you done?~

~Why is it called to tourist season if you can't shoot them?~

~Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of the song?~

~If most car accidents occur within 5 miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?~

~If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made of that stuff?~

~Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?~
"2 Corinthians 1:12 - For our boasting is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and sincerity before God, (not in fleshly wisdom but in God's grace,) we have had our conversation in the world, and more abundantly towards you.' Over the oil
" I pass to you the torch that Christ once passed to me,others are still in the dark an need the light to see"
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 07, 2004 6:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

very good lilli. Very Happy Very Happy
the penultimate one about the plane just pisses me off though. its perfectly simple. its relatively easy to make something small that can survive the high stresses induced by a crash but in order to make a plane that can survive a crash undamaged would mean that it would be too heavy to take off! i'm sorry i'm just being penicity because i'm a mechanical engineering student.
planes are designed to be light. if ti wasn't it wouldn't take off and would use up FAR too much fuel anyway. in order for it to be light all the components hav to be design with weight reduction in mind. this is VERY hard sometimes. doing the calculations and all the work to find the optimum design for components in planes can be very time consuming and hard as hell sometimes. especially when it has to be designed with crumple zones that will give way when submitted to certain force (like one induced in a crash) and deform in a predictable way that distributes the stresses away from passengers during a crash. i recently had to do a project to design a passenger seat for and airliner so i've done a bit of work on this subject. that's why i get pissed off with people just assuming that it ca be made from something stronger so that the whole plane will survive a crash intact. ITS JUST NOT POSSIBLE!!

sorry about that guys. i don't mean anything personal i just had to get it off my chest.

anyway thanx again for that lilli i had a good giggle at that!
hug ccc
'Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and open eyes. Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there, I'll be there.' Incubus - Drive
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