THC Ministry :: Community Forum Index
AustraliaBasqueBulgariaCanadaChinaEgyptFranceGreeceIcelandIndiaIndonesiaIrelandJamaicaJapanJordanLatviaMexicoNetherlandsNew Zealand
NorwaySpainPakistanLebanonPeruPolandPeurto RicoRomaniaRussiaSingaporeSouth AfricaSudanSwedenThailandTurkeyUnited KingdomUSAUzbekistan
Pilots and Mechanics

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    THC Ministry :: Community Forum Index -> Jokes, games and funnies
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Echo
Cannabis Sacrament Minister
Cannabis Sacrament Minister


Joined: 14 Apr 2003
Posts: 989
Location: UK

PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2003 7:37 pm    Post subject: Pilots and Mechanics Reply with quote

I am a frequent flyer and till now have firmly belived to be rather safe on the plane. Read on... have a laugh and a shiver Laughing

*************************************************************

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the
problem and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what
remedial action was taken. The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the
next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a
sense of humor.



Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted
by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the
way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

_________________
"Men of few words are the best men" William Shakespeare (1564~1616)
Kent THC Ministry
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
oldmanmozz
Honourable member
Honourable member


Joined: 17 May 2003
Posts: 111
Location: N.T. Australia

PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2003 12:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

very good, I have a mate thats a pilot that will think thats funny Laughing


cheers an cones Mozz Rolling Eyes
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    THC Ministry :: Community Forum Index -> Jokes, games and funnies All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Public forum Public Forum Members only Members only forum Members Group Members Group

THC-Light skin designed for Amsterdam Cannabis Ministry by JuggoPop of Touchstonestudio.com
Powered by phpBB 2.0.11 | THC Ministry Members | Cannabis Religion | Sacrament | Forum html archives | Site Map |
ScriptWiz.com phpbb HTML Archiver - Created by ScriptWiz.com and released by Skinz.org